After reading a certain book that I will leave unnamed, I have really been struggling with viewing God as distant. The book basically asserted that when we have sinned, God turns away from us so that we do not experience his wrath. Which has left me feeling abandoned to a certain extent. Because when am I not failing God, if I'm honest?
Anyways, so I picked up this devotional to combat those feelings. I am reading it with my dear aunt.
I am enjoying it so far. I read It's Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst several years ago and it really resonated with me. Each of these 100 devotions are paired with a Bible verse and are about 2 pages. I will summarize my takeaway from each devotion here, then at the end of the 100 days, will write a review.
Day #1: Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. Psalm 86:11
Takeaway: Praying in the morning will help me to look to God for direction throughout the day. “But what’s amazing is that the Savior of the world would desire a few minutes with me this morning. Lord, help me to forever remember what a gift it is to sit with you like this…”
Day #2: Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. James 1:21-22
Takeaway: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” My husband and I are doing The Bible in A Year Podcast and this reminds me to not just listen, but apply the principles to my life.
Day #3: Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions; I will put them into practice with all my heart. Psalm 119:34
Takeaway: She talks about reading the Bible with "great expectations of connecting more deeply and living more authentically with God" - not just for the purpose of checking it off your Good Christian Girl checklist. This didn’t quite connect with me - I can tell that’s what I’m supposed to take away from the devotion, but sometimes when I read the Bible I am looking for word from God and receive none. Or maybe don’t know what I’ve received from reading it until later on, even at a different time in life. Sometimes it is something to check off my list, and I think that’s okay because consistency pays off in the end. Everything isn't about feelings, sometimes it's about showing up even when you're not feeling it. But I think that's more of a Catholic perspective.
Day #4: All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
Takeaway: I liked when she said to pause and say “Not my will, God, but Yours be done.” I have a friend and she talks about some famous priest I can’t remember always saying “Come Holy Spirit” whenever he was frustrated or felt like he needed to respond to something that was important. And my own priest has told me when I’m feeling frustrated with someone to pray “God, please bless them.” So anyways, all this to say - when we pray these little prayers we are just turning our faces toward Jesus instead of away.
The devotion talked about our time with Jesus being a morning thing again, preparation for our day. So it’s funny that I’m hearing it again - along with the first fruits thing from Fr. Mike Schmitz. (Kind of like: Amen, amen I say to you - hey, listen up). Anyways, mornings are hard for me - But love requires sacrifice. God desires the first fruits of my time. So sounds like God is telling me to suck it up and stop making excuses. 😂 That’s my takeaway for today.
Day #5: And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best.. Philippians 1:9-10
Takeaway: I had a hard time with today's devotion about discernment. I don’t ever feel at peace with my decisions. I don’t ever feel like I have discernment. I feel like bigger choices I make always seem to be the wrong ones. So discernment is something I constantly struggle with. And she made it sound like oh, everyone who is a Christian has discernment - I just don't know if that's true.
Day #6: He appointed twelve that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons. Mark 3:14-15
Takeaway: Recurring theme. Jeez, if you're looking for a sign this is it! Take time to spend with Jesus. Something I have to make space for as we return back to school. I want to make time in the morning. Not sure how much is enough…? I dread waking up earlier, I have never been a morning person. But hopefully it will fill me up spiritually.
Day #7: Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law. Psalm 119:18
I think today’s takeaway is that we should be praying specifically for the day ahead. I can’t remember who said we should look for “God sightings” throughout our day and write them down - in the sunset or someone being kind or whatever it is. So the devotion says though to look to see him but also hear so we can obey what he wants us to do for each day.
Day #8: Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God. Matthew 5:8
I am the skeptic over here that she’s talking about, second guessing all my spiritual experiences - was that God? Or am I overspiritualizing my life? Was it a coincidence, was it science? Like I’m afraid of being duped or tricked. I don’t know, I don’t understand why I do this sometimes myself. But the answer I guess is to be pure in heart, which is maybe harder to do than she makes it sound? I guess she means pure in my intentions - if my heart wants to see God I will see God. Which I guess is true, if I resolve to see God in all things, then I will. And maybe I just have to stop overthinking it.
A quote from St. Josemaria Escriva: "Either we learn to find our Lord in the ordinary, everyday life, or else we shall never find Him."
Day #9:
I love King David. The Psalms are always relatable to me. At times dramatic (as am I), at times despairing (as do I), and at times joyful and one hundred percent in. I have always felt like King David gets me a little bit. And now here is again in this devotion, overlooked by people, but handpicked by God. How relatable can one king be? I mean he really shouldn't be this relatable. Anyways a good reminder that we are chosen by God… Last line of her prayer today: Help me Lord, to live my life for an audience of ONE.
Day #10:
The devotion today on praying boldly is a good one. I do that too where I pray for something but then do not have the faith that it will come to pass or that it is what God wants. But why? Even if it’s not God’s will, I could still ask and have faith that God will answer. I kind of have this problem where I am skeptical and a realist instead of being faithful and trusting… how do I exercise my faith muscle? Maybe praying boldly with faith?
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